When there are anger issues in a romantic relationship, it will typically be caused by a mix of 4 types of inner emotional wound that will be present in each partner:
The feeling that one is “never good enough” at some skill or ability, like making money, being “perfect” or something else I “should” be good at.
The feeling that one’s body is not good enough — I am not thin enough, strong enough, tall enough or pretty enough.
The feeling that I am somehow the “wrong kind” of person — it could be my gender, my race, my sexual orientation or even my personality.
The feeling that “I will be loved only if I am _____.” This “_____” could be based on my career success (competence), my body appearance (body), my willingness to “change who I am” (identity) or something else, where I feel I will ONLY get love, IF a separate condition is also met.
While it is normal for any person to have some mixture of all 4 emotional wounds, if two romantic partners are unaware of each other’s specific wounds, then they will very likely be poking and inflaming each others’ pre-existing wounds through their normal daily contact, totally accidentally and without malice – at first.
Over time, this accidental poking will often turn intentional, as both partners, hurt, angry and in pain, increasingly withdraw from each other, and even seek to retaliate.
Before long, the relationship has turned into an emotional “spaghetti tangle of a mess” with both partners angry, deeply frustrated, and starving for emotional nourishment.
How to Heal It
The key to healing the spaghetti tangle is to find a way to fully “map” each partner’s pattern of wounding, and then to use these maps as a powerful guide for how to support and nourish each other on an intimate everyday-basis, but without inflaming each others’ wounds.
This will heal the spaghetti tangle of wounding, but also will create a deeply protective and nurturing space that is shared and held by both partners – and this shared space will then help both partners to even heal the original inner wounds they have had in themselves, which is the ultimate potential of a sacred love relationship.
The Healing in Relationships Program
To help with this process, I teach a powerful, intensive program called “Healing in Relationships”, which dives deeply into how the spaghetti tangle happens, how to stop it and reverse it, and in so doing, how to transform your romantic relationship into a sacred container of powerful, lifelong healing for you, your partner, and even your current and future children.
I guarantee that by the end of this 12-minute briefing, you will already feel better, and will have a clear path for how to fully heal the spaghetti tangle in your own romantic relationship, and how to unlock the full power of the nurturing, support and nourishment you both desire and deserve.Warmly,
ArtieIs this program for couples or can I do it by myself?
The Healing in Relationships Program is designed to be done by an individual on their own, whether they are currently single or in a relationship. You may share your sessions with your partner as you feel so moved, but your login to the program is “owned” by only you.
Will this program help me heal after a breakup?
Typically after a breakup, there is a constant, painful stream of negative mental chatter and a running “review” of everything that happened in the relationship, why it happened, whose “fault” it was, and what could have been done differently. This is often accompanied by fear: fear of it happening with the same person over again, and also, fear of this same painful pattern happening over and over again with multiple future partners.
This program is specifically designed to engage and answer the negative mental chatter very directly and in a way which will relieve your emotional pain. It is also designed to address the deep, core issues that are driving your fear of the same patterns happening over and over again, with the same or different partners in the future.
How much time does the program take every week?
The sessions run about 30-60 minutes each week with additional time on your own to do the exercises. Also, your access to the sessions does not expire, so you can take your time and spend more than 1 week on each section.*****For a limited time*****When you buy the 12-week Healing in Relationships Program, you will also get the bonus “Supplemental Sessions”, which is a collection of additional video sessions designed to take the principles of Healing in Relationships and apply them to specific relationship scenarios.
Here is a partial list of the topics we will cover together in these sessions: What To Do When Encountering Rejection or a Painful Breakup The Nature of Desire and the Difference Between “Need” and “Want” Techniques for Picking Your Next Partner The Difference Between Emotional Validation and Love How to Express Anger in a Healthy Way to Your Partner The Significance of Healing in Relationships, If You Are a Parent Grieving the Loss of a Partner The Role of Dreams in Healing Relationships
The full set of Supplemental Sessions are a collection of 25 additional video sessions spanning over 5 hours of additional advising content and this collection is not available for purchase separately.